[from http://users.aol.com/boysatan/ptp/article2.htm ] "I AM NOT GOTH" by Matt G. Paradise Many of our regular readers are, most likely, familiar with my hatred for the social aspect of music subculture: it's largely a cheap excuse at identity and a means to get other people to like an otherwise unlikable human. For many involved with what passes for music identity in the 90s, particularly those held sway by the rather obvious misnomer of "Alternative," it grows increasingly harder, if not all-out impossible, to label them as a subculture, seeing that many are blatantly mainstream; so mainstream, in fact, that their original purpose of inflaming social complacency is now the gristle for many a Cosmo and Vogue issue, and a visual/auditory pretension of play-depression for gullible teens in dumpsterwear to contemplate and feel "philosophical." (Then again, the whole affair is merely one big social test of rash allegiance, built in from the very core.) One of the music identities that tries its damnedest to remain aloof, at least as much as possible and then some, is Gothic. (Some purists may get confused over the usage of the term, so I'll say this: The term Gothic will herein be used to describe the current music-related subculture version and is only kindred to the classical definition loosely.) I will, however, say that there are a few (and I score the word "few" here) qualities concerning this social reaction dressed in deepest, darkest lace and fetish apparel that isn't without some merit. Few people in modern times have much of an appreciation for the Romantic period, elegance, decorum, theatrics and various literary efforts befitting of the very elite themselves. Goths usually gravitate to these elements but, unlike the success-mindedness of Satanism, the status is mere show with little to no substance. But, the whole idea of modern Gothic isn't exactly to be a model for truth in packaging or to back up pomp with attached position. Their motives are far more carnal. To be perfectly honest, there's a definite sexual appeal to some Goths, the very concept strictly encourages sexual exploration. This is its strongest suit, and a fairly pragmatic one at that if your tastes fall within the bounds. When it boils down to seeing how many bites and scratch marks one can inflict is when it becomes a rather infantile game of projected passive aggression in a pantomimic context fitting more of an ersatz Countess Bathory than anything Poe or Byron could have ever described. Perhaps, this makes even the Cenobites of Hellraiser fame Goth. I couldn't tell you. You see, I am not Goth. I am, however, a Satanist. I do hold a strong affinity for the darker side of things, but I pick and choose as any connoisseur would, seeing as there is much in this smorgasbord that repels me. And, above all, I certainly don't embrace the rather conflicting pairings which Gothic seems to cuddle up to. Modern Gothics and Satanists do have some common grounds, but also, many diametrically-posed differences. Largest case in point: Goths tend to find beauty (and even identity) in both the occult (i.e.: the hidden) and Xtianity, lending to an extreme compromise in any sort of integrity. Where did it all come down that witchery, sexual investigation, vampirism and general Halloween fare go hand in hand with an asexual, sterile, and a very non-personally expressive religion? In many instances I've noticed, there are a sizable number of Goths who seem to summon both the Satanic and that of various Xtian sects, implying a strong tendency to fencesit. I can wholeheartedly applaud the love for 18th and 19th century tragic/romantic and mysterious literature, but these works were largely frowned upon in their time by the religion many of these Goths lavishly cling to. Some, perhaps more than some of them, may claim that their adoration of Xtianity is merely fashion or that they only emulate Jesus Christ or an embellished version of the Xtian god's persona. How limiting and, more importantly, how disengaged from their own choice of personal accouterments. They seem to have a proclivity for searching out the arcane, the lost and forgotten treasures obscured by a disposable society, but there are more inspiring corridors to wander through than those which may grant them some leeway with the herd; in other words, they may feel that looking freaky may attract them some societal slack, but they can always dive under the auspices of a Goodguy Badge when the heat gets too intense by intently pointing to their oversized crucifixes hanging sickly from their necks. Perhaps, some give the old tried and tired blurb of "Oh, we're not evil... we like God. We're dark, but we're NOT Satanists," sounding very much like the implied slander/scapegoat which many Pagans and Wiccans use (attemptedly, against us) to grant them some entrance into established society. In all cases mentioned, the attitude is highly Xtian: build your entire case on disassociating yourself from (and attempting to tear down) the supposed "bad guys" instead of forging your creation out of more autonomous clay and regard slander as a (hopefully) legitimate reaction. Of course, there are Goths who don't play with Xtianity, and they're much farther removed from the aforementioned hypocrisy. (Unfortunately, these are the ones who are often prone to dabble with Satanism with an almost adolescent irresponsibility, hoping that we're the next evolutionary step up from Creepiness 101.) In Satanism, we practice what many of us consider to be either creative and/or productive isolation, feeling rather drained from many of the herd's amusements and livelihoods. Many a Goth I've encountered have expressed a comparable contempt for the herd, but there is a noticeable difference. On the creative end, some argument could be posed for their exercising of this form, although since there is a strong sense of group identity (if not in mind, then in fashion), its creativity is often limited to specific macabre paradigms. Further narrowed seems the productive approach to Goth. Visually separating yourself from the herd is often a very healthy and therapeutic method of social extraction, but donning a Bela Lugosi image 24-7 would, as examples often suggest, thwart any successes and goal attainments in the real world. Consider the Balance Factor (The Satanic Bible, p.127-128) in Satanic Magic as an apropos analogy. Knowing limitations and when to be infernal versus prudent is one of the cornerstones of Satanic achievement. It's a matter of knowing the difference between calculated alienation of undesirables and accidental (and, often, unwanted) alienation. Some individuals are misanthropes while others are complete losers hiding behind a glorified image. The proof's in the personality. And deeds. Second in line for Satanic contrast is the almost orgiastic flirtation Goths have with the concepts of death and depression, the more realistic ties this grouping share with Xtianity. As amply stated by many Satanists, including Anton LaVey, Satanism is a life-loving philosophy, not a death-obsessed dirge played to the inflated vision of a crucified man held as a representation of favorable admiration. Death is such an obsessive subject with Xtians and many Goths alike. But, seeing that death is an inevitability, you'd think the matter would be closed. Certainly, there are life-related matters to learn from death (many are bound by strong metaphor) and its various icons, but hardly a mentally and emotionally healthy subject to romanticize and venerate. In contrast, Satanists live for the here and now, which increases the quality of our lives greatly since we aren't held down by the bankrupt promise of "an intangible paradise." Conversely, biding for a seat in an ethereal place of fiction is a glaring statement for a person's worth or, to be more precise, a lack of their worth in relation to intelligence and performance. It's damn pathetic, too. And, then there's the matter of depression. In Satanism, this is a rather worn-out non-issue. We have the psychodrama of ritual to purge such feelings of depression from us. Goths seem to initially meet us at the door on this one, and then go completely off the track by forging an actual lifestyle out of pain instead of getting it out of their systems and leaving it behind. Still, if you crave unwarranted attention, brandishing your discomforts will attract equal "concern" and distract others from seeing the root of your madness, which could very well be an uninspired, unimpressive and miserable person. Not a Satanist. Of course, one attraction many Goths have that may parallel the metaphorical penchant of many Satanists would be that of the vampiric imagery. What I find alluring about the vampire persona is that sense of dark romanticism, almost an anti-hero in some portrayals; largely, a profound attribute missing in many of the mainstream cinematic depictions of vampires. Also seductive is that air of nobility and elitism embodied in many of the available vampiric characters, qualities respected by numerous Satanists. However, I've never found interest in the predilection many Goths in modern day have with blood, either in its giving or its taking. (Likewise, the fear of Xtian symbols, though certainly not a problem with a few melodramatic modern Goths, is too ridiculous to examine, and it's much too irrelevant to even the moderately intelligent individual.) This imbibing of the life fluid seems too harmonious with the body/blood metaphor (?) of Christ, so much that I dismiss it as a mere throwback to a time when good guys must always win and bad guys must always be vanquished, whoever's defining those sides. For me, bloodsucking is best left in the books and well-crafted films. From a Satanic perspective, Gothic literature legitimately evokes some great dynamic tension and mood, and parts of it could be considered components of our inherent roots. It also presents much of human foibles and folly, lessons of logic to avoid and, grudgingly, some of the realities of being human. However, it simply does not serve the Satanist to take the aesthetics of this darker side and, from which, craft a deleterious philosophy for the self: to wallow, to saturate the self with appointed sanctimony to self-affliction. What a mischanneled and unproductive expense of energy. There is a usefulness to Gothic themes, particularly for ritual and ceremony as such pageantry is rich with stimulation. It's when stimulation replaces all sense of perspective that the threshold is tripped; it becomes compulsion, and every Satanist knows the danger in taking indulgence too far. It's appropriate here as well. So, if the Satanist discarded the Xtian trappings, the unproductive addiction to death and depression, and all of the other un-Satanic elements that seem more of a product of social weakness than an exploration into the mysterious, that which is Gothic may prove to satisfy a level-headed desire for what many Satanists find pleasing. It's always been Satanic to not throw anything away without checking for choice pieces of substance first. (A glowing example can be made of the musical works of Wagner, seeing as the politically-correct of the herd cannot seem to exclude its former appeal to Hitler and Nazi Germany. Such is the confined herd mind.) Again, I find a few elements of Gothic appealing, but there is no way in Hell that I'm about to wear the tag and be associated with personality traits unbefitting of my Satanic self. From what I've understood, modern Gothic is largely a fashion show for many of its adherents, opting out of many of the societal identities available to the masses and merely joining another, less acceptable one. I have a very hard time seeing anything Gothic about Nine Inch Nails as well, finding the loose connection to be more of the trend infesting the genre further than anything else. Again, I am not Goth, but I know when I smell a rat and this boat's loaded with them. Considering the increase of exploitation, it seems only a matter of time before that ship starts sinking. EOF