[from http://home.earthlink.net/~gorgon/slchtml.html (reformatted by tn)]
                  
                      
                      SATAN'S LITTLE CHILDREN
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   HERE LIES SALVATION. I SO LOVE THE WORLD THAT I FUCK 'EM ALL AND LEAVE
   NONE STANDING NOR BREATHING. YOUR PIETY IS AS INSIDIOUS AS THE PAIN IT
   INFLICTS ON YOU, AND YET, YOU TAKE YOUR LASHINGS AND LICK THE THIGH OF
   THE ONE WHO BEATS YOU. IF A BEATING IS WHAT YOU LIKE, THEN STATE IT
   SO, OTHERWISE DON'T COMPLAIN WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE. BUT, IF YOU'RE A
   MASOCHIST, HEY, THEN YOU HAVE ALL THE BASES COVERED.
   
   SATAN'S LITTLE CHILDREN, UNDERSTAND THE WAYS OF THE FLESH. WE CONSIDER
   INDULGENCE OF OUR FONDEST DESIRES, THE MOTIVATION TO EXIST ON THIS
   FLOATING MUDBALL. WHETHER IT IS SKIING IN THE ALPS, TO HANGING
   UP-SIDE-DOWN IN THE CLOSET WITH BUNGY CORDS, WE UNDERSTAND THAT
   REPRESSION LEADS TO COMPULSION-WHICH LEADS TO ABSOLUTLY NO GOOD.
   
   IF YOU THINK SATANISM IS NOTHING MORE THAN GOING AROUND KILLING
   ANIMALS AND CHILDREN, YOU REALLY NEED TO REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM OUT OF
   YOUR ASS; IT'S HARD TO THINK THAT WAY. I WILL SET YOU STRAIGHT ON WHAT
   SATANISM IS AND HOW TO BECOME A SATANIST IF YOU SO DESIRE. IF YOU CAN
   FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE BELIEVE AND YOU CAN FOLLOW THE SATANIC BIBLE,
   THEN YOU WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING A SATANIST. REMEMBER, SATANISM IS
   NOT FOR EVERYONE, SO THINK IT THROUGH FIRST AND THEN FOLLOW UP WITH
   YOUR DECISION.
   
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            the nine satanic statements
   
   1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
   2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
   
   3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical
   self-deceit!
   
   4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love
   wasted on ingrates!
   
   5. Satan represents vengence, instead of turning the other cheek!
   
   6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of
   concern for phychic vampire!
   
   7. Satan represents man as just another animal, more often worse than
   those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual
   and intellectual developement," has become the most vicious animal of
   all!
   
   8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they lead to
   physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
   
   9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has
   kept in business all these years!
   
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                      the nine satanic sins
   
   For years, people have asked Church of Satan representatives, " Well,
   okay--your philosophy is based on indulgence but do you have any sins
   like other religions?" Our answer has always been "No". But the time
   has come to amend that response. We have grown steadily over the past
   21 years and find it is appropriate to have some clearer guidelines
   on, not only what we strive for, but also what we work to avoid--what
   we disapprove of. The difference is where other religions develope
   sins people can't avoid, we consider a number of things "sinful" that
   people could avoid if they worked a little.
   
   1. Stupidity ~ The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin
   of Satanism. It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is
   one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It
   depends on people going along with whatever they're told. The media
   promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only
   acceptable, but laudable. Satanist must learn to see through such
   tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.
   
   2. Pretentiousness ~ Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn't
   applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with
   stupidity for what keeps money in circulation these days. Everyone's
   made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods
   or not.
   
   3. Solipsism ~ This can be very dangerous for Satanist. Projecting
   your reactions, responses, and sensibilities onto someone else who is
   probably far less attuned than you are. It is a mistake of expecting
   people to give you the same consideration, courtesy, and respect that
   you naturally give them. They won't. Instead Satanist must strive to
   apply the dictum of "Do unto others as they do unto you." It's work
   for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a
   comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said,
   certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but
   unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian 
   viewpoint) we are far from that point.
   
   4. Self-Deceit ~ It's in the Nine Satanic Statements but deserves to
   be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any
   sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to
   play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is
   when it's fun, and with awarness. But then, it's not self-deceit!
   
   5. Herd Conformity ~ That's obvious from a Satanic stance. I'ts all
   right to conform to a person's wishes, if it ultimately benifits you.
   But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal
   entity dictate you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of
   being enslaved by the whims of the many.
   
   6. Lack of Perspective ~ Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for
   a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and
   what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making
   history right now, everyday. Always keep the wider historical and
   social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and
   Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want
   the pieces to fall in place. Do not be swayed by herd
   constraints--know that you are working on another level entirely from
   the rest of the world.
   
   7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthdoxies ~ Be aware that this is one of the
   keys to brainwashing people into accepting something "new" and
   "different", (Church of Scientology--stay away from these morons)
   when in reality it's something that was once widely accepted but is
   now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the
   genious of the "creator" and forget the original. This makes for a
   disposable society.
   
   8. Counterproductive Pride ~ That first word is important. Pride is
   great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the
   bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: If it works for, great. When it
   stops working for you, when you've painted yourself into a corner and
   the only way out is to say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we
   could compromise somehow," then do it.
   
   9. Lack of Aesthics ~ This is the physical application of the Balance
   Factor. It is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It
   is obvious that no can collect any money off it most of the time, so
   it is discouraged in a consumer society, but it is an essential
   Satanic tool and must be applied for magical effectiveness. It's not
   what's supposed to be pleasing--it's what is. Aesthetics is a highly
   personal thing, reflective of one's own nature, but there are
   universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be
   denied. 
	~ Anton Szandor LaVey, 1987 c.e.
   
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   The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
   
   1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
   
   2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they
   want to hear them.
   
   3. When another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
   
   4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without
   mercy.
   
   5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
   
   6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden
   to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
   
   7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully
   to obtain your desires. If you deny the powers of magic after having
   called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
   
   8. Do not complain about anything to which you not subject yourself.
   
   9. Do not harm little children.
   
   10. Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.
   
   11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers
   you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.
   
   ~Anton Szandor LaVey, 1967 c.e.
   
   Most of all, use common sense. If you can't grasp what is written
   here, you will probably find Christianity very liberating. The Satanic
   Bible will be your handbook of understanding this most feared
   religion. ' The Cloven Hoof ' magazine is also a great reference for
   the new Satanist.
EOF