To: private email
From: tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com (nocTifer)
Subject: Satanism in Practice
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 1996 04:57:30 -0400 (EDT)
Orientation: House of Kaos, St. Joseph, Kali Fornika, US -- Kali Yuga
49961003 Aeon of the Adversary, Year 1; Hail Satan!
[question regarding my 'actions, choice-making and life objectives,
as well as relationship to the inquirer and fellow humans' which
is different in being a Satanist than if I wasn't a Satanist; not
intending icons or rite, especially recently]
actions - used public transport to traverse 120 mi. round trip visit
to SF museums on 'free wednesday', studying Indian (Buddhist,
Hindu) iconography, reading about Chinese (Taoist) alchemy
along the way, discussing ceremonial magick and its
efficacy in daily life, talking about fabricating a shared
home community of emotional-vulnerable individuals and
reminiscing about old times of our experiments so far in
this regard. expressed my frustration and sorrow to my
lover, who was my companion for the day, about our miscues
and possible dissoluton of our open relationship. wore
once more my black robes in the SF fog, over my Indian
whites, accented by an African ear-ring.
have been composing a directory of local organizations and
merchants who support the ideals of my Church: SODOMY,
ABORTION, SUICIDE (or its results, few support self-
termination), veganism (the alternative to which the
church supports is CANNIBALISM for those who insist on
eating flesh), and SATANISM (support of wild nature, both
internal and external -- human and nonhuman).
recently tore apart a temple room working after a 5-year
composition setting into place personal yidams of dakinis
in relation to myself as its central Siva-figure. this
appears to have brought about the dissolution of any sort
of reliable connection to the Internet (as of the Lunar
eclipse, interestingly enough, all of this is happening).
unsure if this is a sign. ;>
I've got this temple (living/working space, featuring
dedicatory altar to Kali, Satan's sakti or power as I know
and understand Her) down to about half the size of the
room and am attempting to minimize even further the area
of my residence in a continuing ascetic trend (balanced
by indulgences in other areas like sex, psychoactives in
ritual or as celebratory rites on holy days, which I have
defined).
reviewing book edited by Isaac Asimov, #8 in his series
on 'Magical Worlds of Fantasy' called _Devils_. a batch
of short stories featuring Our Hero (the Dark Lord, mostly
Christian-style). read aloud one story to my lover written
by Robert Bloch entitled 'That Hell-Bound Train' which is
highly reminiscent of Hesse's _Siddhartha_.
sent email last night to my other lover, open relationship,
discussing a shared occult home we've been considering and
negotiating over a distance. asked her many quite
direct questions concerning our differences, acknowledging
that we may not be able to make this work given my desire
to live in a home in which we are emotionally interactive
and that I desire my lovers to be part of the same house if
at all possible.
gave my recent and still not-functioning ISP an ultimatim
in email that if it isn't resolved to my satisfaction by
week's end I want my $ back and will take my business
elsewhere.
I might be alot easier on these people and orgs if I wasn't
wasn't a practicing Satanist (more below).
choices/objectives - choosing my dedication to my goddess and Her
wild nature (Satan) over my personal relationships even
to the point of their dissolution (I don't see this as
happening right away, but I am consistently risking this
outcome by placing my priorities on choosing freedom
of expression and the health (hail) of the wilderness
(satan) rather than settle for what is comfortable or
what may seem a short-term gain on my own part.
my objectives include catalyzing a combined occult and
ecological movement at least in my local area (my life
if nothing more, possibly others in my general vicinity)
that includes real lifestyle changes that will impact
the forces of establishment eco-destruction. they also
include the complete tearing away of the veil of secrecy
obscuring such subjects as magick and sexuality.
relationship to you/others -- I am willing to be your goad, a lorax,
an adversary (satan), not only in terms of how you behave
and think about the notions of things like death and spells,
but also how you see the 'negative' aspects of nature, of
which we all are part, and of which I contend cities are
also part (though potentially cancerous at present). I will
likely be extremely syncretic and eclectic in this way,
perhaps even co-opting your favorite terms (like 'Satanism'!)
in order to achieve my objectives. I don't intend to violate
you, though I do find counter-propaganda to be effective when
in the service of Gaia/Kali.
my Satanism proceeds from my pact with Satan in service to Hir health
and welfare. if you cannot see what my actions et al above
have to do with service to wild nature (even minimally),
then I'd explain as best I'm able in order to assist you in
so doing. I am only self-initiated in June, but I've been
preparing for this in many ways for the entirety of my life.
my Satanism is a catalysis and symbol of my adversarial
role to my society and the intentional manifestation of that
Shadow of my culture as best as I can determine its essence.
you may differ with me over the nature and accuracy of my
determination, but I hope you see where I'm headed with this.
a major success in my work would be participation in the resolution of
the divide between nature-based religious factions through what must be
difficult and honest sharing of who we are and what we wish to do with
one another, finding how we can support each other's worship and
general religious freedoms/rights/expressions. this is nowhere more
centrally-symbolized than within this email forum.
blessed beast!
nocTifer
mailto:tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com